we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
