around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
