Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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