your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
