Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
