is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
