Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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