You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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