Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
