If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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