Betty ford says i'm here all night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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