Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
