He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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