I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize