And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
