Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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