3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
