I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
