Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize