haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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