Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
