He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Enjoy the penises
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
