You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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