what if every blade of grass was a penis?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
