so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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