Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
