I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize