i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
