I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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