Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
soo... how was my night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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