Don't you send me to vm
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
