Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
