I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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