M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
