can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
