I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
