I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
