Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
