The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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