i just had sex bonerless
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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