mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
