Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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