my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
