He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
