This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We are all done wearing pants today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
