you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
