i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
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just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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