just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
