they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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