I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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