At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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