My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize