Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
