I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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