i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
