you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
