girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina is officially offended.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
