WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
