Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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