Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
