I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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