The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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