I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
