So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
