if you like me you must not know who I am
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
